Fighting with myself

Believe it or not, these days I feel that i should fight with myself.

Because it seems that lazyness has occupied my mind. 

yeah, I can blame other things or make excuses for it. But, i realise that it is me, my self that cannot organise my time well.

_____
Honestly, I am currently at the stage of struggling with my research planning and progress.

I have two supervisors that are very nice and full of encouragement. I am feel sorry for them, because my progress is still left behind. They are always kindly support me to deal with everything.
_____

Now, the time is limited. And many things to be done.

Bismillah...

No more "I will do it later"
No more too much thinking and thinking and thinking.

just write it done now, right now.

:D :D :D

I can do it. insya Allah.
______
Dear Allah, please help me to deal with these all.
I beg you for the whole of my life.
______

And of course, I have a very happy life here, with my lovely wife and sons. 
Don't know what to do if they are not here :D

Thank you :D

pull your self together, Jho

Yes the tittle is a phrase used by people to express that one have to concentrate himself to refocus and keep calm on doing the progress. (For the exact meaning just googling it or ask chatGPT).

The first week of october about to end, and I still make a very slow progress. I need to uplift my motivation and push myself to start and consistently doing the writing. 

Alhamdulillah it is chapter 3 now, but the previous two chapters are not final yet. Many parts of it need to be revised, adjusted or even replaced with a more proper writing.

I have to fight my feeling of laziness. And the best way to do it is by start typing the first sentence. And Bismillah. I will do it now.

..........

Story of the "lovely" Before-Supervisory meeting 8

  Alhamdulillah, the 8th meeting went well. As usual, I had a hard time before the D-Day. As I mentioned on my social media, I even spent 3 days and 2 nights on campus. No, it's not because I didn't prepare earlier. I made sure to start preparing early for this meeting. But preparing a PhD research proposal in this academic atmosphere is not easy.

Despite the struggle, Allah always exists and always helps me,

Dear Uda, Adek, and my prospective heirs.
Never let Allah go from your life's journey. Always hold on to Him. Trust me.

In the past few days, I have been facing many challenges. I've been experiencing headaches with the combank app, which I can't access. I tried calling the provided hotline and even went to the branch, but it still doesn't work. I am unable to access what I need on the app.

I planned to transfer money for BUPA OSHC two days before the deadline. In the middle of the night, I tried to make the payment, but something unexpected happened. The bill payment website stated that there is a limitation on transferring the money and I needed to upgrade the limit. I'm not sure yet if I should upgrade it in my bank app or contact the web admin of the bill. If it's the former, then I still have trouble accessing it.

Today is the deadline, and after this day, the payment amount will increase. I can't imagine what I would do if that happens. Where would I find more money to cover the bill? If I have to go to the bank branch and the insurance office, it will reduce my time to prepare for the afternoon meeting. I was extremely frustrated last night, but I kept my spirits up. I took a deep breath and tried again to solve the app issue by following the steps given on the bank website. By the decree of Allah, it worked. Allahu akbar! I don't know why, but I had tried implementing the exact same steps several times this week and it didn't work. But suddenly, in the middle of the night, when I didn't know what to do, I put my full faith in Allah, and a miracle happened. Now I can access the app.

However, the problem is not yet resolved. I sent an email to the insurance campus representative. I know it was impolite to send an email in the middle of the night, but I wanted to make sure the admin would see my email and provide advice regarding the payment issue. Interestingly, the admin replied to my email in the morning and said that I could simply split the amount of money stated on the bill to match the transfer limit. Alhamdulillah, it was solved, and I managed to transfer the money. I am grateful that I will not have to pay the increased update fee.

Then... suddenly, my landlord came to the house. Finally, I could tell him about my plan to leave the house at the end of next month. I was a bit confused about how to properly communicate it to him. But Allah made a way for me, and he seemed to be okay with it and even gave me some advice on finding a new unit for my family. He's a good landlord. Thank you, Allah.

Then... the only problem remaining on my mind this morning was the preparation for the supervisory meeting. I still needed to revise the first chapter, but I didn't have enough time. Alhamdulillah, I managed to revise the important parts.

And tadaaa! The meeting went well. The supervisor helped me a lot. Of course, there are many revisions required, and some of the feedback will surely take up most of my time. But I enjoyed today's meeting, Alhamdulillah. Allah helped me again, and the one-hour meeting is now over.

Oh yes, I also managed to inform my supervisor about my plan to return to Indonesia next August to bring my family to Melbourne. Surprisingly, both supervisors were okay with it and had no concerns. Their only concern is about my proposal, so as long as the meeting and progress continue as usual, "We can still have the meeting online, only the time and location will be different," she said.

Alhamdulillah.

Now it depends on the visa and also the money (and the house, of course).

Bismillah.

No matter what, I must find a unit for August 2023. Insha Allah.

Please help me, O Lord.

health, thesis, preparation for the family coming

 Okay,

I am truly grateful for my accomplishments, although I recognize that there are still many aspects that need improvement. I am currently struggling to maintain my focus on achieving my writing goals, but it is much better than the previous week.

I have discovered a better approach to reading and writing, but I require more intrinsic motivation to increase my writing speed. I believe I can successfully complete it. 

Over the past two days, my mind has been preoccupied with finding ways to establish healthier habits that align with the routine of a PhD student, as well as my daily religious practices. Additionally, I am facing challenges in managing my time for other thesis-related tasks, such as preparing to bring my family from Indonesia to Melbourne.

Ah... contemplating these matters—health, thesis, and the preparations to bring my family to Australia—gives me headaches and mood swings. Nevertheless, at this stage, I have chosen to prioritize my thesis. By making significant progress on it, I believe I can improve in other areas as well. Insha Allah.

Ramadhan Kariim 1444H Di tanah Melbourne

 Alhamdulillah bisa merasakan bulan Ramadhan tahun ini. dan tidak terasa sudah masuk ke 10 malam terakhir. Ibadah masih terasa kurang. 

Ya Rabb izinkan hamba untuk dapat memaksimalkan ibadah di bulanMu yang mulia ini. Aamiinn YRA.

Sepertinya sudah mulai trend pula bahwa ramadhan tetap penuh dengan pekerjaan dan dedline-dedline. 

Entahlah dont know what to do. Should I ignore the deadline? 

Tapi tak semudah itu.

Dan akhirnya aku berdamai dengan keadaanku.

Pekerjaan dan deadline-deadline yang ada ini adalah dalam rangka beribadah padaMu ya Allah.

Karena memang ini semua harus dikerjakan dan waktunya pun berhimpitan.

Semoga Engkau ridhoi dan berkahi. Aamiin YRA.

Insya Allah aku sudah mendaftar untuk I'tikaf pekan ini, semoga dapat agak beberapa hari. AAMiiin.

______
Tahun 2013 lalu berpuasa di benua eropa saat musim panas. Tahun ini alhamdulillah berpuasa di benua Australia di musim gugur. 

Beda-beda sensasinya.

Hal yang sangat disyukuri ditahun ini adalah adanya masjid kampus dan juga jadwal kuliah yang begitu fleksibel untuk PhD students. Akibatnya selalu dapat melaksanakan sholat jumat di masjid yang mana dahulu ketika di eropa masih ada bolong nya karena keadaan, jadwal, waktu, dan tempat yang tidak mengizinkan.

Saat ini pun yang membuat bahagia adalah bisa kapan saja melarikan diri ke masjid kampus jika sudah lelah dengan ramainya dunia.
Bisa menikmati toilet bersimbah air, yang merupakan nikmat tiada terkira. Bisa berwudhu tanpa rasa was-was dan sembunyi-sembunyi dan mengangkat kaki ke westafel, sebab di masjid kampus disediakan tempat berwudhu yang sangat proper.

Ya.... setiap masa dan keadaan ada kelebihan dan kekuranganyya. ada hikmah nya sendiri-sendiri.

dan aku mensyukuri semua itu. Alhamdulillah.

Istimewa ramadhan tahun ini juga adalah karena saya dan anak istri terpisah jarak dan waktu. Acapkali kami harus melakukan silent Video call. karena jam di melbourne sudah menunjukkan pukul 00.00 sedangkan anak2 ada pada jam paling aktifnya sebelum tidur. sehingga videcall dengan semangat.

Ya Allah, semoga RedhoMU membawa kami segera berkumpul kembali bersama-sama di Melbourne ini. AAMiiin YRA,.

A claim

Today,  i and some of my colleague were discussed about subject which we will teach on the next semester.

One interesting point i denote was about a claim of a lecturer on some particular subject.

"Itu mato kuliah ambo tu, ambo yg megang mato kuliah itu"

Hmm... Hmm.. hmmm.

Honestly it sounds akward for me. How can he stated this claim?

It also the same (not exactly of course), when me, for example, claim that a particular research theme is belong to me, then other people are forbidden to conduct research or write article on that topic.

Yup, before, i also has such idea on my mind, but i realize that, we cant forbid or limit someone else to work on the same area with us. As long as it is not a plagiarism, thats fine. And lets compete with them.

Because that is the art of being part of researchers. Which mean, you are acknowledge based on your work. And who publish first will earn the points.

So, come on Jho... You must... You ought to... Yo have to... Start it now

Submitting students mark

Alhamdulillah finally its done already. This semester is officially finished :)

Although i should stay a bit longer in the office. Until 21.04 wib.

Oh ya.. started from this thursday... I have been joined with AMT of stkip adzkia

Its nice to see and reflect our self based on expert guidance. The phsycholog was conducted an attractive training, so far.

But you know, i am not really a 100% in on this event, because some part of my mind still think about the time that i should spend with my little fam.

Hmmm...

Hokkeh. Just enjoy it ... Jho.

And Alhamdulillah my AoM are also preparing ielts in deakin unp program. Do the best honey.

And i will focua on Budi LN scholarship aplication... (Soon)

Alhamdulillah 7,5

Finally ... its all done.

We dont know at the beginning how to deal with the condition....

But as I always believe that if Allah Has chosen such a condition for us, then He Absolutely Has a great plan for that. Our duty is only to fight hard and pray even harder.

and now, the almost three months of IELTS has been finished and the result is awesome I got 7.5 what a wonderful achievement.

ALHAMDULILLAH ALLAHU AKBAR.

Thanks for all.
especially for my dear AoM and Aqsha and also the greatest Moms in the world. Love you Full.

#1togo IELTS ia am coming

Alhamdulillah, H-1 for the first official test on this program.

Yup. Alhamdulillah, because i have done until this stage and I believe that I can give my best. Insya Allah.

Ya Rabb, hamba banyak salah dan khilaf.. :( ampuni hamba ya Rabb.

Berikan taufik dan hidayahMu kepada hamba dan teman-teman sehingga kami bisa menyelesaikan test ini dengan baik, lancar, sukses dan hasil terbaik.

perkenankanlah doa-doa kami Ya Rabb.

Amiin.

#2togo Per-Facing the first official test in this program

alhamdulillah this is the beginning of the third month.

I am happy, because not merely because the test will be in front of me immediately, but it also mean that the coming back time is nearly happen. :)

I got the announcement of the schedule this day.

I will have the written test on Saturday 25 November 2017 and the speaking test will be held on Sunday at 10.

Insya ALlah, i will do my best. Pray for me yach.

#Really miss you Honey and Aqsho..
#sometimes, some parts of my soul have already flied to Padang.
#But of course i have to finish this first.


Oya i plan to extend my study time until Isya.
And now is the first move of it. After a simulation with my study buddy, i went to the library and have a self study.

Bismillah

# 20togo Time fly SO fast.

We dont know exactly what will happen tomorrow or even We cannot predict for the next second of our Life .

Therefore, We have to use the time wisely .
Although Some people argue that life is only once, it should be spent worthfully .

And here, l am trying to deal with time so that l can make it useful .

#21togo Relax, Focus and Fly to the Top

Ehm...

in my opinion, neither the time , which is argued as the main factor that the students should pay attention for, nor the psychological pressure will let the result of the test decrease. Yet, it is the belief that will make it exist.

Thus, in order to avoid that circumstance to be happened, we ought to put the spirit up in our mind.

The spirit will guarantee that our effort will lead to success and we can pursue what we intended to.

Insya Allah.

And of course, managing the time and  relax will influence us in achieving it.

A word named Rindu

One of the most beautiful parts of loving someone special is the "Rindu"

No matter how much I push my self to agree on what I wrote in another blog several days ago, I still remain unsure about this feeling. Yup "Rindu".
I stated that 1 to 2 days of gathering could give me power for 2 following months. oh came on, That is just a placebo.

The point is not about the melancholic things, yes indeed in some parts, but for me it reflects one eternal truth about my life. That I couldn't stand alone. I need these people around me. Very near to me that I can hug them whenever I want, that I can be with them whatever my condition is. That I can hear their voices, that I can support them with all of mine.

Yet, in the reality, this may differ due to many reasons. Like what I have experienced now. Being apart for three months for improving my IELTS skills. Until now, this is the very long separation phase of me and the family. (it still about 2 months remaining).

I just wondering about the next journey. How it will be?
This IELTS things will relate to my PhD plan. I insists to go abroad for continuing my study, insya Allah. I have already searched some possible destination and predicted the preparation process which I need to focus on. Even, I created some thought calculation in my mind about the financial, the time, the scenario... But all of it still seems fussy for me. On the one hand, when the warrior side of me are arise, I will let those things as a trigger to increase my efforts. On the other hand, when the weak opposition of me took over my mind, it seems that the journey are too long and more likely to be impossible. Yeah.. it is normal right, the feeling of up and down.

Not only do the selection to get a scholarship is hard, but also the other linked things of it are amusing.

However, thanks that I have God and believe in HIM, as usual. And its a relief that my special one is also a person who really believes on the power of God. Therefore, my job now is making this sacrifice, the separation, valuable. Studying hard, getting  a high score, applying for the scholarships, improving the research proposal and relating stuffs, searching for the universities, finishing the tasks for both the official and the unofficial and of course praying even harder. 

I like the sentences below:

"You only need to try hard and to give your best, and Let HE Finishes in HIS Way. Everything has already written in the Lauh Mahfudz. You don't need to worry that much. As long as you fulfill the reason to win, then the result will not cheat the process."

Insya Allah, everything will be OK

:)
:)

Miss you Aom, Miss you Aqsha...
I love you All.

Dear Aom, let us give our best yach.. Insya Allah we will pursue our PhD abroad.. together.

Sea dr 4 2016

Alhamdulillah this is the d day. Actually not as horrible as I think. Yeah just prepare well do the best and pray. Allah will always with you insya allah.

I like the atmosphere, meet and discuss with academia and scientists from various institution.

There are still many gaps in my mind about the topics the model the terms :)

But thats is the challenge, I really thanks Allah for this moment.

Meet my supervisors around the world.

Keren itu kalo lihat bapak ibuk yg udah ga muda lagi present something yg really scientific itu sesuatu bingit.

Drive in

Bismillah

First day,

The d day of the dueli test

Finally its the day. The last day for the phd pre departure program for deakin uni that i follows.

I dont have enough preparation, but i just believe that i should finish it until the end. Insya allah.

And now is the break time after the first session : the writing test.
Alhamdulillah, i got a familiar topic :) may be becouse my wife and child pray a doa for me :) and also you, my friends, teachers, lectures, and colleagues and of course my lovely family.

The next session is the speaking test about 15 minutes. What a challenging test.

Bismillah

D7 #RTA ~ inner "can"

I believe that everyone potentially has an inner "can". Then, its only about how they give their best effort to pop up it into a reality.

a new challenge

Insya Allah, A new challenge.
Hopefully its full of barokah

JF EC

A great team

"Bring the acc form!"

#A new library in pasca unesa. Bigger than the previous one. Alhamdulillah.

#"lenkapi lampiran, perhatikan daftar pustaka, dan perhatikan penomoran"
" berarti bapak sudah setuju dengan formatnya?"
" iya sudah"
" berarti tinggal dilanjutkan pak"
" iya, lengkapi dan scan gambarnya tolong diperjelas. Diskusikan dengan pak agung. Tuntaskan"
" baik pak"
" bimbingan selanjutnya sekalian bawa form ttd pembimbing ya"

#duug.. subhanallah.... okkkayh pak . "I will"

What a nice day.
However, I know that the defense is not ax easy as I think. I should stand on my own shoes. And the eximenee in unesa so so so,..... chalenging

Ya Rabb, allow me to finish it on your way.

#Gogogogo
#Allahuakbar

a Week in Palembang.

Doing workshop In the data analysis.
Gathering here and there (only in 2 two consecutive Mess:) )
Meeting the friends that we only knew from the Soc med before.
And Have fun and also getting fired together.

At the dinner with the Dutch supervisor we took Pictures and have some Words for each of us.
For me:
ebm, they said that I am a quite Person but always observe things around with full attention. And they recognized about the speech.

I appreciate it.
hopefully l can elaborate this skill more and more.