Fighting the procrastionation.

 Yesterday, while waiting to perform the Zuhr prayer at the Springvale Library prayer room, I stood in front of the health and wellbeing aisle. Unintentionally, I grabbed a few books and realized they were about anxiety and how to deal with it.

Although I don't have an anxiety disorder, I noticed the slow progress of my research design and became worried that I might be falling into procrastination. I decided to look for a book about procrastination. Alhamdulillah, I found one. The title is "Do the Hard Things First."

After reading a few pages, I realized that some aspects of procrastination apply to me. Whoa... I need to fix this before it's too late.

Yes, I realized that I have been avoiding tasks.

OK, Let us fix it, Nal!!
Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim

Insya Allah. Yes we can.

 Alhamdulillah.

Menikmati-hari-hari dengan penuh kesyukuran.
Menjalaninya dengan keyakinan penuh pada Rahman dan Rahim nya Allah SWT.

Untuk bab itu alhamdulillah saya berazzam untuk tak pernah goyah.

Tapi...
Untuk bab usaha, terkadang sering lalai juga untuk memaksimalkan jiwa petarung.

Akhir-akhir ini, Sering juga berdiam lama jika menghadapi kebuntuan.
Pernah jua menghindar untuk mencari beragam pengalihan.

This is not good ronal. Pull yourself back and "break a leg".
Insya Allah, Yes we can.

A journey of a long battleship

Kadang ada fase bertempur dengan diri.
Ada masa penuh pemaksaan.
Ada jenak waktu perdamaian.

Tak jarang bermanja dengan pembiaran.

Bermain bersama diri hingga berujung pada kemalasan.

Pernah pula, fase-fase heroik

menggebu hingga to the max.

Pernah jua, berada di puncak produktivitas

dan tak jarang juga berada di titik nadir kenihilan progress.

Kadang kami bermesraan hingga semua tunai purna tuntas.

Penuh aura positif dan keharmonisan.

Namun apa pun itu...

Alhamdulillah.

This is my progress.

My lovely journey.

And I still in the progress of being better insya Allah.

Aamiin YRA

Bit by Bit

I continue to strive against my procrastination, giving my best effort. Alhamdulillah, sometimes I make progress, but at other times, I find myself stuck in thought.

Recently, however, I've adopted a philosophy inspired by observing my young son eating rice. He eats slowly, and when I urge him, "Rasyid, finish your rice!" he responds, "Ya, Bi. Ada adek makan kok." Remarkably, he eventually finishes. We call his approach to eating "bit by bit. sebiji demi sebiji". Despite its slow pace, he ultimately completes his meal.

This "bit by bit" approach prompted me to reflect on advice often given by my supervisor about progress. The emphasis is on moving forward, not waiting for perfection. Simply create a draft and refine it later. I realise that, in the process, we need Progress, not perfection, this is the key for me.

Therefore, I've learned to value any progress I've made. Though witnessing others' successes in achieving their goals can sometimes evoke feelings of insecurity, I remind myself that this mindset contradicts both my usual approach and the teachings of tarbiyah.

Tarbiyah teaches me to observe and reflect on others' struggles. It's essential not only to focus on success but also to take time to acknowledge those facing numerous challenges and difficulties in their lives. Reflecting on this, I feel deeply grateful to Allah. Alhamdulillah.

---

A story from the library last night: Unintentionally, I sat across from a man who appeared Chinese, unaware that he was Indonesian until he answered a phone call in Bahasa Indonesia. He confided to the person on the other end about feeling stressed with his job. From what he shared, it seemed he was only involved in planting crops, likely working on a farm judging by his attire. 'Kamu tahu nggak, aku sedang stress nih dengan kerjaan. Sedikit stress sih, kerjaan ku itu nggak berat, hanya menanam-nanam gitu kan.....' Begitulah kurang lebih yang kudengar.

The reason I share this eavesdropped encounter is to remind myself never to compare my work with others'. It might seem easier for him, just tending to plants without the complexities of research, designing, writing, proposal revising and other 'thinking' responsibilities. However, we never truly understand someone else's situation.

So, it's crucial to be grateful for what you have and to continually strive to make progress, regardless of the circumstances.

Fighting with myself

Believe it or not, these days I feel that i should fight with myself.

Because it seems that lazyness has occupied my mind. 

yeah, I can blame other things or make excuses for it. But, i realise that it is me, my self that cannot organise my time well.

_____
Honestly, I am currently at the stage of struggling with my research planning and progress.

I have two supervisors that are very nice and full of encouragement. I am feel sorry for them, because my progress is still left behind. They are always kindly support me to deal with everything.
_____

Now, the time is limited. And many things to be done.

Bismillah...

No more "I will do it later"
No more too much thinking and thinking and thinking.

just write it done now, right now.

:D :D :D

I can do it. insya Allah.
______
Dear Allah, please help me to deal with these all.
I beg you for the whole of my life.
______

And of course, I have a very happy life here, with my lovely wife and sons. 
Don't know what to do if they are not here :D

Thank you :D

Rindu

 Ah....

Hanya berpisah jarak antara rumah, sekolah dan kampus.

tapi rindunya kagak nahan.

Mungkin karena banyak waktu yang 2 bulan ini dihabiskan bersama dengan mereka.

love them so much. Alhamdulillah.

Semoga jadi anak-anak yang sehat dan sholeh

Notable Moments, Syukur Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah, it's been nearly two months since my family joined me here in Melbourne, specifically on November 14, 2023. Uda Aqsho has been attending NPPS and TPA Madania for about a month now. Alhamdulillah, we've achieved a lot, and all credit goes to Allah. I'm truly grateful for everything. We've faced various challenges together, and remarkably, we've managed to navigate them with joy

Some notable moments that I want to capture in this post are:

1. Adek Rasyid has started his preparatory school session at NPPS.

Actually, the school was supposed to begin for him next year, and we initially planned to enroll him closer to the commencement date. However, Allah guided us to expedite the process. His ways are always unpredictable. During a family gathering event, some friends discussed children and their schooling with Ummi. They suggested that we should start enrolling Rasyid early because schools sometimes have limited seats. At that time, I had intended to postpone it until I finished my revision (which seems to be an endless revision cycle :D), but Ummi was eager to do it as soon as possible. So, we went to the school with the required documents (which I had prepared following Uda Aqsho's documents).

Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar! The day we went to the school happened to be the last week before the "once a week" session started. Allahu Akbar. It turns out there are four sessions that parents and children who will join the preparatory school next year should attend. Alhamdulillah, we were able to be a part of it. Fortunately, Allah provided guidance through Ummi's friends. Thank you, Allah, and thank you to those kind-hearted people.

The enrollment process has been very easy and straightforward, Alhamdulillah.

2. Ummi has finally managed to secure a Letter of Acceptance (LOA) from Monash University and a scholarship from LPDP. 

This is a truly joyful moment after a long and challenging journey. Securing the LOA and scholarship is crucial for our family, as without these two things, we wouldn't know what to do. Honestly, up until now, we still don't have any other options. We literally don't know how Ummi would stay here in Melbourne without the scholarship and LOA.

Syukur Alhamdulillah. Thank you to everybody who has contributed to this achievement. May Allah reward you abundantly. Ameen YRA

3. Uda Aqsha was recognized as the best student for year 2 in this period.

One day this week, I picked up Uda Aqsha as usual. He approached me with his prestigious smile and showed me a card in his hand. The home-teacher had written appreciative words about Aqsha, highlighting his responsibility and hard work in completing all of his school assignments. I commended him for it and created an Instagram reel to document his reaction. Then, unexpectedly, Ummi connected with another Indonesian parent at NPPS who conveyed congratulations through WhatsApp. She mentioned that Aqsha was chosen as the best student for this period. Typically, there is an evaluation for each period, and the best students from each class are announced and recognized during the joint student meeting in the school hall.

Masha Allah, thank you, my diligent boy. I am reminded of the time when discussing school was a forbidden topic, even back in Indonesia because he didn't want to attend school in Melbourne. The period before starting school was a challenging and worrisome time for our family. On one hand, I felt compassion for Aqsha, who was about to face an unfamiliar school environment with limited English proficiency. However, Allah paved the way for His blessings. Since the first day, Aqsho has consistently gone to and from school with enthusiasm. Alhamdulillah.

Oh, there's a secret of Allah's love behind this achievement. Before this, Uda Aqsha participated in a class meeting activity at his school. He had put in effort but hadn't won yet. At home, Ummi said he was very sad, even to the point of tears, wondering why he never won any competitions. This was the case back when he was at Adzkia too, despite his sincere efforts. We comforted him, and it turns out Allah comforted him with this achievement. Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar.

And there's more to share; I will update you in future posts, insha Allah.

========================

Now, please keep me in your prayers as I strive to excel in my revision. The deadline is approaching."

Roda Padati

"It is always challenging."

"Yes, life is often like that. Perhaps not for everyone."

"Joys and happiness,"

"Sadness and overwhelming emotions,"

"Enthusiasm and strength,"

"Uninspired and laziness,"

"All of these will come and go in countless cycles." Like a roda padati yang sedang berputar

"What makes it different for one person from another is how they deal with it."

"As for me, I have failed many times in managing it well."

"I don't know the exact or better way to deal with it."

"I always try to keep going and to accept myself. I feel very sad after making a mistake in handling these emotions because it also affects the people around me."

pull your self together, Jho

Yes the tittle is a phrase used by people to express that one have to concentrate himself to refocus and keep calm on doing the progress. (For the exact meaning just googling it or ask chatGPT).

The first week of october about to end, and I still make a very slow progress. I need to uplift my motivation and push myself to start and consistently doing the writing. 

Alhamdulillah it is chapter 3 now, but the previous two chapters are not final yet. Many parts of it need to be revised, adjusted or even replaced with a more proper writing.

I have to fight my feeling of laziness. And the best way to do it is by start typing the first sentence. And Bismillah. I will do it now.

..........

Enjoying the July 2023

 It's been a very long time indeed. According to my plan, I will return to Indonesia in August 2023 to meet my family and bring them back to Melbourne. However, it's not as easy as it sounds. To make this happen, I need to prepare many things. Money, of course, is a crucial factor, but there are other aspects that are even more challenging for me.

Fortunately, my supervisor has given their permission, but it depends on the progress I make in writing the proposal, which is currently in a less than satisfactory condition. In addition to bringing my family, I also need to arrange accommodation. Despite inspecting more than 10 units and applying for 5 of them, I haven't received any information yet. If there are no positive results by next week, I will have to inform my current landlord that I will be paying rent for August, which means there is a possibility of overlapping rent fees between the current house and the prospective leased unit. Hopefully, that won't be the case.

Furthermore, I also need to arrange school enrollment for my son as it's a requirement for the visa. After our agent lodges the visa application, my wife and children will need to go to Jakarta for a medical check-up. Phew...

And then there's the issue of purchasing tickets. I hope we can find the cheapest tickets with a good itinerary. Amen.

Despite everything, I believe I will manage. As someone who tends to overthink, this situation is extremely challenging for me. However, I humbly request Allah's help to keep me alive and cheerful. I firmly believe that Allah will assist us because He always does.

Story of the "lovely" Before-Supervisory meeting 8

  Alhamdulillah, the 8th meeting went well. As usual, I had a hard time before the D-Day. As I mentioned on my social media, I even spent 3 days and 2 nights on campus. No, it's not because I didn't prepare earlier. I made sure to start preparing early for this meeting. But preparing a PhD research proposal in this academic atmosphere is not easy.

Despite the struggle, Allah always exists and always helps me,

Dear Uda, Adek, and my prospective heirs.
Never let Allah go from your life's journey. Always hold on to Him. Trust me.

In the past few days, I have been facing many challenges. I've been experiencing headaches with the combank app, which I can't access. I tried calling the provided hotline and even went to the branch, but it still doesn't work. I am unable to access what I need on the app.

I planned to transfer money for BUPA OSHC two days before the deadline. In the middle of the night, I tried to make the payment, but something unexpected happened. The bill payment website stated that there is a limitation on transferring the money and I needed to upgrade the limit. I'm not sure yet if I should upgrade it in my bank app or contact the web admin of the bill. If it's the former, then I still have trouble accessing it.

Today is the deadline, and after this day, the payment amount will increase. I can't imagine what I would do if that happens. Where would I find more money to cover the bill? If I have to go to the bank branch and the insurance office, it will reduce my time to prepare for the afternoon meeting. I was extremely frustrated last night, but I kept my spirits up. I took a deep breath and tried again to solve the app issue by following the steps given on the bank website. By the decree of Allah, it worked. Allahu akbar! I don't know why, but I had tried implementing the exact same steps several times this week and it didn't work. But suddenly, in the middle of the night, when I didn't know what to do, I put my full faith in Allah, and a miracle happened. Now I can access the app.

However, the problem is not yet resolved. I sent an email to the insurance campus representative. I know it was impolite to send an email in the middle of the night, but I wanted to make sure the admin would see my email and provide advice regarding the payment issue. Interestingly, the admin replied to my email in the morning and said that I could simply split the amount of money stated on the bill to match the transfer limit. Alhamdulillah, it was solved, and I managed to transfer the money. I am grateful that I will not have to pay the increased update fee.

Then... suddenly, my landlord came to the house. Finally, I could tell him about my plan to leave the house at the end of next month. I was a bit confused about how to properly communicate it to him. But Allah made a way for me, and he seemed to be okay with it and even gave me some advice on finding a new unit for my family. He's a good landlord. Thank you, Allah.

Then... the only problem remaining on my mind this morning was the preparation for the supervisory meeting. I still needed to revise the first chapter, but I didn't have enough time. Alhamdulillah, I managed to revise the important parts.

And tadaaa! The meeting went well. The supervisor helped me a lot. Of course, there are many revisions required, and some of the feedback will surely take up most of my time. But I enjoyed today's meeting, Alhamdulillah. Allah helped me again, and the one-hour meeting is now over.

Oh yes, I also managed to inform my supervisor about my plan to return to Indonesia next August to bring my family to Melbourne. Surprisingly, both supervisors were okay with it and had no concerns. Their only concern is about my proposal, so as long as the meeting and progress continue as usual, "We can still have the meeting online, only the time and location will be different," she said.

Alhamdulillah.

Now it depends on the visa and also the money (and the house, of course).

Bismillah.

No matter what, I must find a unit for August 2023. Insha Allah.

Please help me, O Lord.

health, thesis, preparation for the family coming

 Okay,

I am truly grateful for my accomplishments, although I recognize that there are still many aspects that need improvement. I am currently struggling to maintain my focus on achieving my writing goals, but it is much better than the previous week.

I have discovered a better approach to reading and writing, but I require more intrinsic motivation to increase my writing speed. I believe I can successfully complete it. 

Over the past two days, my mind has been preoccupied with finding ways to establish healthier habits that align with the routine of a PhD student, as well as my daily religious practices. Additionally, I am facing challenges in managing my time for other thesis-related tasks, such as preparing to bring my family from Indonesia to Melbourne.

Ah... contemplating these matters—health, thesis, and the preparations to bring my family to Australia—gives me headaches and mood swings. Nevertheless, at this stage, I have chosen to prioritize my thesis. By making significant progress on it, I believe I can improve in other areas as well. Insha Allah.

The pain and struggle endured in making the efforts will outweigh the pain of regret that you may experience later on

________

As humans, we are aware of our limitations. Sometimes we feel incredibly positive and radiate positive vibes to those around us. However, there are other times when we feel upset and experience fluctuating moods. During these moments, we may become excessively negative individuals, prone to getting angry with others even over trivial matters. In some cases, the people we direct our anger towards are unaware of their mistakes.

In certain instances, we are capable of perceiving the world with an open mind, acknowledging our weaknesses without blaming ourselves. We are able to uplift our spirits and move forward after experiencing setbacks.

However, in other instances, we often view our mistakes as triggers that worsen our state. We struggle to transform adverse circumstances into opportunities for personal growth and improvement.

These observations are based on my own experiences as a human, but they may not necessarily apply universally to others.

So, how can we maintain a positive outlook and prevent our negative side from bringing us down? I am still in the process of discovering the best approach. However, I have come across a few strategies that may be helpful. Firstly, dedicating more time to worshiping and connecting with God. Additionally, identifying certain factors that can serve as motivations to steer us towards the right path.

It is important to note that these actions will not make the obstacles magically disappear. Nevertheless, believe me when I say that they will provide you with the strength necessary to face the challenges head-on and transform them into conquerable hurdles. Ultimately, the pain and struggle endured in making these efforts outweigh the pain of regret that you may experience later on.

okay. keep practice ronal

 I have a 7,5 for my IELTS score. I guess I got it 3 times.

Alhamdulillah.

But.... However.... nevertheless.... unfortunately.

I am still struggling with using English, especially for speaking and writing. 

Sometimes, I feel very insecure with other people around me. They are not native, but their English is so fluent. 

But yeah, when I manage to be here, in Melbourne, that means Allah Allows me to give my best effort to improve my English.

But the problem for an introverted person like me is although there is plenty of opportunity to practice speaking here, I rarely use it. I tend to be quiet and just busy with myself. The PhD by research means your circle will only be you and your supervisor; that's it. Actually, yeah, there are PhD group discussions, PhD students catch-up, workshop, dinner, and other leisure activity that will provide interaction among the PhD fellow. Still, none of them are mandatory for you. So, you can choose to attend and mingle with others or not. And you know me, right.. hehe. What will I choose?

Okeh.

I will write more in this blog. To practice my English. Hopefully, it is one way I can improve my active English.

O yaaa. You know, even right now, I draft this post in Grammarly. :D

yes. I do believe that all of this is the best from Allah.

 Yeah, since the list of LN university for BPI was announced, hari-hari semakin terasa berat. Apalagi tanggal batas akhir pendaftaran lebih awal dari jadwal tes ielts yang coba kami daftar.

walau begitu, Alhamdulillah, kami sudah yakin benar bahwa ini yang terbaik dan akan ada saja jalannya Allah berikan.

Benar, saya tidak meragukan itu. sekali-kali tidak.

_____

Tapi, sebagai manusia lemmah dan biasa, saya sangat sedih dan lemas. Sedih karena jalan juang kembali sedikit berkabut. jalan juang kembali penuh dengan pendar-pendar cahaya silau sehingga belum jelas mau bagaimana. Hanya satu yang sudah jelas dan pasti, bahwa kami tetap harus Berjuang.

Lemas karena jalan yang dikira sudah lurus, harus berbelok-belok kembali. 

_____

ditambah dengan kenyataan yang tak sesuai dengan harapan. setelah dua kali berturut-turut mendapat pujian dari supervisor, saya akhirnya beranikan diri mencari "aktivitas", saya kabar kan pada teman dekat. ALhamdulillah mereka mendukung dan dengan penuh semangat memberikan support. dihari itu juga saya dihubungkan dengan koneksi yang dipunya. bertemu dengan saudara baru yang sangat baik dan berkenan berbagi tips dan cerita. Tapi apa daya, "aktivitas" ini tak menerima students deakin lagi karena satu dan lain hal.

dugh.... ujian hidup memang beragam bentuk dan macamnya.

dan pekan ini bergelayut sendu.

_____

Saya yakin sedih bukanlah dosa.

Maka dengan sabak kesedihan ini, saya bermohon kekuatan dan petunjuk cahaya terang dari Mu ya Rahman. 

_____
Allah itu selalu dan pasti Maha Adil.

contohnya di pekan ini semua bergantian silih berganti.

• Berkecamuk deadline hingga lost idea what to do hingga telat submit revisi.
• Galau dan deg deg an di diamkan oleh supervisor tak seperti biasanya.
• Beranikan diri dan pasrah ke ruangannya, alhamdulillah lancar dan mendapat respon positif untuk kali kedua.
• sedih mendapat kabar deakin pendidikan tak masuk lagi di list bpi lptk maupun pta.
  
• sedih ternyata jadwal batas akhir daftar bpi ln nya tutup lebih awal
• semangat nyari "aktivitas" dan dapat kemungkinan yang sangat pas dan ada teman-temannya.
• ditolak ndak bisa ikut "aktivitas" padahal ada lowongan namun terkait kebijakan kampusnya
• alhamdulillah gembira kumpul halal bihalal bersilaturrahim dengan kawan juang sesama phd deakin dan keluarganya. bertemu dan berbagi kabar-kabar hangat. Membuat semangat penuh kembali. mereka punya lika liku panjang perjuangan masing-masing.

sungguh memang sedih dan gembira dipergilirkan, dan nikmati saja sekedarnya. karena Allah tahu yang terbaik untuk kita.

___

maaf sayang, jika mood abi saat telponan juga naik dan turun.
apa lagi juga aura disana gelap dan suram.

libur Easter...

Kampus libur selama libur easter. 

Efek nya adalah gedung -gedung pada kekunci termasuk gedung yang di dalamnya berlokasi masjid kampus. Walhasil there will be no regular sholat, no ifthar, no tarweh and no jumah prayer. 

Saya bersyukur kondisi ini membuat saya harus berkelana memcari masjid terdekat untuk sholat jumat. 

Ada peluang sih untuk rencanain pergi bareng sama teman2 indo yg biasa ifthar bareng d deakin. Tapi dassar yang namanya si ronal rifandi spd msc memilih untuk do it alone by himself only. 

Hmm. Pilihan jatuh pada masjid Huntingdale. 

1 jam an lebih klo pake transport umum. 

Dan lagi-lagi ga seru klo ga deg deg an. 

Entah kenapa bus 900 ini ada 2 di trayek yg sedikit beda. 

Perasaan udah naik bis yang benar tiba2 tettoot jalanan yg ditempuh ga sesuai dengan bus stop yg dilalui di aplikasi. 

Semua turun robal ikutan turun. Eh selidik punya selidik, bus nya ngetem bentar dan jalan lagi. Ronal rifand akhirnya naik bus itu lagi kembali ketempat naik 900 tadi. Dan akhirnya sampai di masjid itu. 

Ga sepat photo photo, karena emang tujuannya mau sholat sih ya. Saking ramainya sholat jumatnya ada 2 sesi. 

Lalu saya beranjak cari butcher. Alhamdulillah nemu. Tapi masih belum memuaskan kaya butcher sebelahnua dirk overvecht.. (Belum move on ni bocah?). Walhasil beli sesuatu seharga 15 dolar. Bersalah beud rasanya, ini akibat ga ada label harganya :) 

. 

Lagi-lagi dengan alasan yg malas ketemu orang, saya pergi dulu mutar2 sembari nunggu in bus nya. Ee malah ragu2, ulah dua sejoli 900 yg bus stop nya berdekatan. 

Hantam kromo aja naik, dan walhasil nyasar dong ke Monash uni. 

Hahhaha. . 

Dan lalu menanti lagi sekian waktu, dan sekarang baru nyampe chadston. 

Dan mesti nunggu lagi 767 untuk ke Highbury. 

Alhamdulillah bisa raun2 ditengah angin dingin. 

Dan karena kelelahan, serta memikirkan banyaknya hal yang harus dikerjakan, dan mikirkan bagaimana sebaiknya besok (ada acara dauroh quran, ifthar dan gathering). Bukan ttg acaranya, tapi mikirin bagaimana pergi dan pulangnga. Hahaha dasar robal. 

Dan turunnya udah kelewat dan terlanjur sampai ke kampus. So mesti jalan lagi 10 menit. 

Ya Rabb. Semoga hari ini pnuh berkah. Aamiin YRA. 

Semog angel , mama dan anak2 bisa segera gabung sini. Minimal raun nya ada yg nemenin. Wkwkwk